


Perhaps You Don't Know

by kuma166



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 15:11:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10969830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuma166/pseuds/kuma166
Summary: Seunghyun is busy. Daesung is busy, too. Time is precious for them. However when they have a chance to be together, they fight instead of cuddling; arguing that one of them is just too busy to care at each other. Will they get to an understanding after they lived each other's life?





	Perhaps You Don't Know

 

It was supposed to be a happy time for Seunghyun, because as he opened the door to his apartment, he saw Daesung’s shoes. But then, it didn’t stay for a long time, the happiness. They were looking each other, yell reverberating through the living room and the air was suffocating.

“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW IT TAKES TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN, KANG DAESUNG!”

“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS JUST TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU. WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF PRESIDENT OR WHAT?”

“YOU DON’T KNOW ART!”

“FINE! I DON’T KNOW ART! SATISFIED? AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO HELP THE TRAINEES!” Daesung took a break before saying his last sentence, “I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE!”

The argument stopped there. Seunghyun seemed affronted at the sentence Daesung just said. The two men’s chest went up and down as they set their eyes to each other –aware that they had hurt each other with words, but they were keeping their pride. The shorter one wiped the tears that escaped the corner of his eyes, chest squeezed at the words he heard just seconds before.

The taller man wasn’t in a good condition either. His hair was messy, his face red and he curled his fingers tightly, just enough to make white crescents on his palms. If it was the other time, he would just take the shorter man to his embrace, talking the problem they had together, and problem solved. He was expecting the younger to understand his schedule, but then he came to his own apartment just to have argument with Daesung, the opposite of what he wanted: a peaceful night with his lover.

He didn’t know how it started, because the exhaustion and anger got the full of him. What he finally realize that he was standing face to face with Daesung, shouting at each other’s face. Seunghyun looked at the brunette and he really wanted to touch the younger, saying that he didn’t mean all he said.

 

 

It was only the sound of the hands of the clock ticking that could be heard in Seunghyun’s apartment. Daesung finally turned his heels, ready to get out from the hell in earth. Seunghyun caught his wrist, but Daesung brushed it off, low grunt followed.

“I will just go out from here. Fine if you don’t want to spend your time with me.”

“I didn’t say that. I just said that I didn’t have much time with you because I have another appointment!”

“Yeah, that appointment start in fifteen minutes, Choi Seunghyun. Why don’t you go change your stinky clothes and then meet your soulmate?” said Daesung with a mocking tone, hands were crossed on his chest. “I wonder how many soulmates you do have?”

Seunghyun glanced at the clock on the wall and cursed, brushing off the fringe that covering his sight. He had to take off his clothes and changed into the fresher ones, but he didn’t want to pause the fight because it would get worse.

“You’re my only soul mate, Daesung-ah,” he said in desperation.

“Daesung-ah? So it’s back to Daesung-ah instead of Kang Daesung?” a scoff escaped his mouth. His gaze as sharp as a knife, ready to stab Seunghyun over and over again.

“Dae-baby,” Seunghyun tugged Daesung’s sweater, but his eyes still set at the clock and wondering how he solved the problem with Daesung and then went to his appointment.

“No,” Daesung pushed Seunghyun, “Just go.”

Then the brunette’s feet already brought him away from Seunghyun, disappearing at the end of hallway, leaving Seunghyun alone with mixed feelings.

***

 

 

 

Seunghyun couldn’t really focused since the time his lover left him abruptly like that. Checking his phone once a while, he expected the younger to text him, maybe to say sorry or something. His pride didn’t let him to text Daesung first, because in his defense Daesung should be the one to understand that he had tight schedule as his exhibition came closer.

It was hard not to text Daesung. Hell, Seunghyun always texted Daesung and the younger would reply him as fast as possible. If he didn’t, Seunghyun just patiently waiting and by patiently waiting it meant that he would bombard his younger lover with another texts.

Sighing heavily, he rested his elbows on the desk in front of him while staring at bundles of papers and catalogues. It’s hard Daesung-ah, to look at these pictures and decide what to show at the exhibition. Why don’t you understand? His mind screamed.

Seunghyun began to compare his side job and Daesung’s job in his head while his fingers tapping on the hard cover of the catalogue. He sings, records something, helped the trainees. But that’s what I do, too! I also make songs! Write lyrics! He puffed his cheeks, a thing that Daesung usually did when he was bored or angry. Another scoff escaped from his mouth when he found himself puffing his cheeks. He surprised himself that he picked the same habit with his lover.

 

But Daesung makes songs and lyrics, too.

 

He plopped his head on the table and he heard the artist, Murakami Takashi, mumbled something in Japanese and Seunghyun just waited for his translator to translate it.

“Seunghyun-ssi, Murakami-san said that if you are tired then we can call it a day. We can continue the project tomorrow morning.”

“No. I have to go to Kohei Nawa’s studio to work over the ‘Doom Dada’ piece. Do you forget that?” Seunghyun said to his translator and she just nodded. “And I think I just want to take these piles to my apartment and review it there. I will text him after I finished it. How about that?”

The translator said something to the old artist and he nodded –Seunghyun took that as they had reached an agreement. He began to stack the papers and catalogue, but the artist said something again. His ears caught some words like ‘very early’, ‘later’ and ‘tomorrow’. The lack of understanding Japanese sometimes depressed him. When the artist looked at him, he just bowed slightly and smiled, hoping that it would end soon.

“Murakami-san is okay with your offer, but he would like to say that it is okay to give him the report tomorrow, maybe in the morning. He also wants to show you a pillow he is working now, maybe he could show it to you later.”

Seunghyun said quite a lot arigatou gozaimasu –thank yous- to the artist and bowed to him. With his limited vocabularies, he tried to tell the artist that he was sorry and he promised him to get to his studio as he finished his other appointment with Kohei Nawa. Thanks to the kind-hearted Murakami, he got to get home early.

 

 

As he put the catalogues and papers at the seat beside him, he sighed. If his mind didn’t wander anywhere and Daesung didn’t act like five years old, he would be able to finish to review the art and he could get to the dreamland happily.

“Where are we going, Sir?”

His temporary chauffeur pulled him back to reality and he suddenly became confused. Pausing the fight wasn’t really a good idea and Seunghyun hated himself not to solve his problem with Daesung first and then went to his appointment.

“Sir?” his chauffeur repeated.

“Ah—” Seunghyun was thinking about going to Daesung’s apartment but the piled up works couldn’t be neglected just like that, “—just go home,” he finally said, ignoring his heart that yelling curses at him because he didn’t went to Daesung’s apartment and made up with the younger.

“Yes, Sir.”

Leaned back to his seat, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

 

Daesung can wait.

***

 

 

The minute hand and the second hand overlapped each other and pointed at the same direction –number two- when the need of sleep attacked him. He yawned, stretching his arms as far as possible and he heard some cracks his body produced.

“Fuck,” he mumbled a curse.

His eyes automatically search for something: a navy blue mug that usually stood on the table, amongst the papers and catalogue madness. Daesung usually made a drink for him, sometimes a hot tea or a quite big mug of hot cocoa. Sometimes he put an additional of one or two marshmallows into the cocoa if Daesung feeling he wanted to give some reward for Seunghyun, ballooning Seunghyun’s chest with love. After drinking whatever Daesung prepared for him, if he stayed for the night, he would just hugged Daesung and the exhaustion would vanish. Even if the younger didn’t spend the night with him, he knew that Daesung left some love for him and he would go to the dreamland with smile drawn on his face.

 

 

When he finished reminiscing about what Daesung would do, his eyes caught the sight of his own phone. He almost forgot that he had a phone. But when he unlocked it, disappointment crept on his heart and brain; there was nothing, no text, no call, no everything from Daesung.

 

“YOU DON’T KNOW ART!”

“FINE! I DON’T KNOW ART!”

 

Seunghyun grunted as the scene of few hours ago replayed in his mind. Somehow, the anger that was subsidized rose again and Seunghyun threw his phone on the couch.

 

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO HELP THE TRAINEES!”

 

“Yeah, I don’t know. You also don’t know that I struggle juggling between these jobs. Don’t you know that to review the arts takes time, huh?” Seunghyun blasted his anger at his phone, where Daesung’s photo was a wallpaper.

 

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE!”

 

“I also don’t know you anymore. The Daesung I know will support me no matter how hard it is.”

But you never talked about his job. You know how hard to teach something to the trainee. Remember when you had to teach Lee Hayi to rap? The little voice in his head started a lecture for him and Seunghyun shooed it.

He shooed the little voice because he found a truth he couldn’t deny.

 

You are a stubborn and a selfish man, the voice said again.

“So what?” Seunghyun mumbled the answer. “I bet Daesung will understand that my job is harder and more complicated that his if he lives my life! And I bet I am able to handle his job. What? Singing? Just like that, right?”

The black haired man proceeded to sing his heart out, from Deulgukhwa’s songs until his own old song, Turn It Up, and ended up exhausting himself. He went to the kitchen and drank the mineral water. He wept the excess water on his mouth with his pajama sleeve and shouted his lungs out, telling the world what he wanted to say.

 

“IF ONLY YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE ME, YOU WILL NOT BEHAVE LIKE THIS KANG DAESUNG!”

 

 

Under the same sky but different places, someone also shouted his heart out.

“IF ONLY YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE ME, YOU WILL NOT BEHAVE LIKE THIS CHOI SEUNGHYUN!”

 

They forgot, that there was a star far out there heard their wish.

And with the help of whatever deities out there, their wish came true.

***

 

 

 

Seunghyun didn’t know why he woke up; he usually woke up with the sound of alarm. He didn’t bother to get up because he didn’t feel any sunray hit his face. Burying his face back into the pillow, he breathed in and wondered why it was not the scent of his own pillow but he liked it anyway. Still drowsy, he moved his position and saw a glimpse of Daesung’s body on the mirror, sleeping on bed. He giggled.

 

You. You little shit. You want to apologize, right?

 

He threw his right hand to feel Daesung’s body, but his hand only felt the cold side of the bed. Eyebrow raised, he thought of Daesung’s existence. There’s no chance he mistook his Daesung for anyone else and Seunghyun was sure that he was awake enough to fully understand that it was Daesung on the mirror.

 

But wait. I don’t have mirror near my bed, he rubbed his eyes. What time is it actually?

 

He reached out his hand to grab his phone on the nightstand when he felt the fabric of the blanket grazing his nipples and Seunghyun got goosebumps everywhere on his body. Huh? He lifted up the blanket instead of continuing to search the mobile phone and found that he was stark naked under the blanket. Seunghyun was sure that he wore pajama before he slept and he thought that it must’ve been the younger who did this to him.

 

But how couldn’t I notice if he took off my pajama?

 

Then he noticed something wrong with the blanket. This isn’t my blanket? Confused, he looked around the room and got off from the bed with the speed of light.

It wasn’t his room.

It’s Daesung’s room! He yelled inwardly.

 

He stood up and pinched his arms, his cheeks –praying that he wasn’t in a dream. Then he felt a pain –he wasn’t dreaming that he woke up in Daesung’s room. He was dizzy in a sudden and he looked for his phone. He didn’t have time to play around with Daesung because he had another appointment later at brunch. But he only found a familiar phone on the night stand –Daesung’s phone.

Seunghyun swore he would kick Daesung if the younger play around with him. Like, how he could end up in his room without he knew and how he wasn’t aware that he was moved. Why Daesung came to my apartment in the early morning and moved me to his room?

He looked at the phone and when he was about to unlocked it, he got a call.

 

Manager-nim

 

Seunghyun decided to take it. “Yeo—”

“Daesung-ah! I never expected that you are not ready yet? What time is it? It’s 7 a.m and you have morning session with Master Hwang and…” the other line paused for a moment. “Don’t tell me you were just— Haven’t you showered yet?”

“Jaewoo-ya?”

There was another pause from Daesung’s manager but after some seconds, Seunghyun heard a growl, “I don’t know what was gotten into you that you became disrespectful like this but if you don’t get your ass ready in five minutes, I will go up there and drag you out!”

The phone was abruptly cut and Seunghyun looked at the phone. Daesung’s manager would easily know his voice –it wasn’t the first time he answer his call. Seunghyun grunted and put the phone back to the nightstand. It’s 7 a.m, huh? Seunghyun stretched his body and went to Daesung’s bathroom. He didn’t care how he ended up at Daesung’s apartment but he had another appointment at 8, so he better went to prepare himself and he thought of taking some toasts for breakfast.

Seunghyun took a fresh towel from the cabinet under the sink and then looked at the mirror just to find Daesung’s reflection on it. He put the towel around the neck and the reflection did the same. He pinched the cheeks, and Daesung, no, the reflection did the same again. He looked back in case Daesung was messing around with him, but there was no one but him in the bathroom.

He froze for a moment and took a deep breath. He needed to be sober.

 

Combing back the hair on his face, he turned on the faucet. The water began to pool on his palm and he rubbed his face hardly. He was sure he didn’t drink any alcohol before he slept and Seunghyun reminded himself to make appointment with ophthalmologist to make a new prescription for his eyes. He started to mistaken some things, apparently.

But even after another pinches on his skin and rubs on his eyes, the reflection on the mirror didn’t change –it’s still the vocalist of Bigbang’s face and body. The he heard a phone rang and he left the bathroom. Without looking at the screen he just answered the phone. On the other line, he heard baritone voice and he gulped the lump that suddenly appear.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re in my apartment?”

“Yeah.”

“D-do w-we?”

Seunghyun gulped.

“H-how could this happen?”

***

 

 

 

Seunghyun rushed to his own apartment with Daesung’s car and he could see from the rear view mirror that Jaewoo was taking glances to him. But instead of having another argument with Daesung’s manager, the opaque shadow of his appearance was more interesting. He looked at the window and saw himself, or he would say, Daesung’s body.

“H-hyung? Is that r-really you?” Daesung’s manager stuttered when he threw the question at Seunghyun. While waiting the red light to turn green, he looked at the backseat where Seunghyun slash Daesung, sat.

“Do you want another kick, Jaewoo-ya?”

His Adam’s apple moved up and down once and mumbled, “Indeed Seunghyun Hyung. My angel would never shout profanities like you.”

“Your angel? Helloooo?? It’s mine!” Seunghyun growled. “And if you don’t shut your fucking mouth now, I will just—”

“You will what?”

“AARGGHHH!! I DON’T KNOW! JUST SHUT UP!” A yell from Seunghyun and Jaewoo shut his mouth up.

“B-but… H-how…?” Every word came out with gradually lower voice and Seunghyun didn’t feel like answering it. He went back to stare at the running trees outside the window. He still didn’t grasp the whole body-swap thingy and he just wanted to see Daesung.

He massaged his own temple. He wasn’t sure the pain was there but he just felt the tension building up. Like, how, what, why, when did they swap their body? It was just absurd. He wanted to think about his schedules, his awaiting jobs, the appointments…

There wasn’t a chance he would ruin his dream and himself just because he swapped his body. There would be something they could work together, right?

“Couldn’t you just, step on the gas and flying?” Seunghyun grunted and looked at Jaewoo from the rear mirror.

“I am stepping on it, Hyung. You don’t want to make a trouble with the police. Besides, I want you to be safe. We don’t want another accident with that body of Daesung.”

Seunghyun nodded his head, agreeing the reason why Jaewoo needed to drive safely. For his own sake, for everyone’s sake. But a question bugging his mind.

“Jaewoo-ya. What do you think will happen if we have an accident? Will I die or will Daesung die? Like, I am on his body now, but he is on my body. Will we swap or…?”

“Damn Hyung. I don’t want to think about that,” the hair on Jaewoo’s body stood up imagining the dead body and the complicated situation his hyung and Daesung faced. “How about we just, drive in silence? Thank you?”

Seunghyun sighed, but then he remembered his appointment and borrowed Jaewoo’s phone to call his own manager who apparently, was in his apartment. He was more panicked than Daesung, but he then calmly took notes what he had to do for Seunghyun’s schedules. Back hearing the sound of machine, Seunghyun leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

How the fuck this could happen.

***

 

 

 

It was kind of weird, but funny, but weird again at the same time when Seunghyun saw his body was sitting in front of him. Their managers had gone out after rescheduling their appointments and they had promised the rapper and vocalist to not spreading the problem further away and just kept it between the four men.

When they sent away their managers, Seunghyun just realized he was slightly shorter than Daesung and he had to lift his head slightly to meet Daesung’s gaze. That giving the feeling of nervousness and timidity for Seunghyun. He couldn’t believe that height gave something like confidence and then he understood why some men wear insoles and women wear high heels.

His body was messed up and, for the umpteenth time just that morning, Seunghyun was amazed by the fact that his body –which Daesung was in- was wearing Daesung’s sweatpants and t-shirt. If it was Daesung, the t-shirt would hug his body perfectly but of course, Seunghyun would rather choose the younger man showed his godly abs and chest to him. In a lesser word: naked. Topless, in a less pervert word.

But that wasn’t the appropriate time to discuss that.

They were fighting the night before, they hadn’t solved the problem, and by that time, they hadn’t broken the silence between them. Daesung avoided his glance, Seunghyun knew that.

“My manager moved my schedules two hours from the initial time, Daesung-ah,” Seunghyun finally took the initiation to break the ice.

“Uhmm…”the voice came low and the older man didn’t realize that his voice could get that low.

“So?”

“Have you searched about how you can get to your original body? I don’t want to work with this body. Everyone will be shocked when they see TOP the rapper instead of Kang Daesung when I have a recording and training session today.”

“And I bet you know nothing about art…” Seunghyun mumbled.

“H-hyu—” the eyes got bigger as the words stabbed Daesung’s heart. A hiss came out from his mouth and Seunghyun cursed and hit himself, inwardly, when he realized what he had said. “I really don’t want to discuss this now. For your information, I am restraining myself not to hit you on your cheeks with a chair you love over there,” Daesung pointed a set of ottoman he usually used for reading and Seunghyun smiled bitterly. “I just want to ask whether you have searched anything about body swap and you came out with such answer,” he growled.

It was strange, again, when Seunghyun saw himself let out his anger. Like he was sitting in front of a mirror and chatting by himself.

“Are you listening to me, Choi Seunghyun?”

By the time he heard his full name, he took a deep breath and set his eyes to the younger man, “I am listening, Kang Daesung,” he made sure that he emphasized the right words just to mock the younger. I haven’t search anything.”

“Tsk. Indeed, Choi Seunghyun. What can I expect from you?”

Seunghyun shrugged, “You know me.”

Daesung sighed and he moved to sit beside Seunghyun, “Remember, we will discuss about what we paused later! Now we will try first thing first: hitting our heads together as hard as possible.”

“W-wait,” he pushed Daesung that was holding the back of his head. “How many are them?”

“Hitting our head together, prick our fingers and mix the blood together, prick our fingers and drink one drop of the blood, drown our heads together and wait until we run of our breath or in another words: experience death together, meditating while put our arms together and chanting some mantra… and the last—” Daesung seemed hesitate to continue his sentence.

“What? What is the last one?”

“Sex.”

Seunghyun scoffed. If there wasn’t a cold war between them, Seunghyun would just pound the younger and fuck him right after he finished the word. Or maybe, the younger would just sit on Seunghyun’s lap without saying anything and he would get the meaning.

Daesung cleared his throat, “Should we try hitting our heads together? We’ll do anything in this one hour and then if it doesn’t work then we’ll just go with this body.”

“Okay.”

 

Daesung had the back of Seunghyun’s head, well Daesung’s own head actually, and he was ready to hit their heads together. The older man could hear the vocalist’s deep breath before he smacked their head together after saying three.

It was quite a loud ‘thump’ and Seunghyun grimaced at the pain on his head. He didn’t caress his head and waited for some time while closing his eyes. Maybe the effect would come late and he didn’t want to surprise himself. He had enough of surprises.

“Hyung?”

It was a call with a baritone voice and Seunghyun knew that they failed their attempt. He saw Daesung was caressing his head while biting his lower lip. Seunghyun was about to reach Daesung to help him easing the pain, but Daesung jolted back when he saw Seunghyun’s hand –a sign that he was still angry with Seunghyun. The rapper’s heart sank. The younger usually came towards his hand; sometimes with exaggerating movements so Seunghyun would treat him as a baby who was wounded. But Daesung didn’t do that –he avoided Seunghyun.

“Should we try it once again?”

“Nope, how about we prick our fingers with needle and mix that?” Seunghyun asked. “But you—” the older man was worried because he knew that his younger lover wasn’t a fan of that kind of treatment –blood and all. Daesung’s face plastered with worry but Seunghyun stood up to find something from his first aid box. They needed it. They had to do it.

Although he didn’t believe at the ‘pricking your thumb with needle when you have upset stomach will cure it’, his mother still put a box of needles in his first aid box. He never used it before but he knew that Little Seunghyun had used it for pricking Jiyong’s thumb, and apparently, it worked.

He brought his first aid box and put in on the table. Daesung’s face became slightly pale, but they had to try all the methods so they could be back to their original bodies. He grabbed Daesung’s thumb and wiped the surface with alcohol tissue first and then pricked it. He saw the younger turned his head away and Seunghyun quickly pricked his own thumb and then pressed their thumbs together, mixing the blood together.

Some minutes passed and there was nothing like smoke, or thunder, or whatever that showed magic. They looked at each other but they knew that they still lived in each other’s body.

“Should we prick our thumbs once more and drink the blood?”

“No!” Daesung said and then grabbed the older man to the floor, immediately folded his legs. Seunghyun got the meaning and he followed the younger man. It was the next method: meditating and chanting some mantras.

 

But what mantras?

 

Seunghyun looked at the younger but the other man had shut his eyes and they were holding their hands together. Seunghyun tried to close his eyes, trying to get some peace, but his mind still confused at what to chant. So he just said ‘I want to come back to my body’ for hundred times until he heard Daesung called him again with his baritone voice.

For some minutes, silence were surrounding them. Seunghyun could almost hear his own heartbeat until Daesung called him.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah?” Seunghyun responded without opening his eyes.

“I don’t know what mantra I have to chant.”

Seunghyun sighed, even though he really wanted to laugh and punched Daesung everywhere. They pulled out their laced fingers and sat on the couch again, staring at the ceiling vacantly as they tried to untangle their own minds.

“I think, we just… have to go like this, Daesung-ah. You with my body and me, with your body. If we couldn’t meet by the end of the day, we will just keep in touch. If you want to ask me something, I promise you to reply it as soon as possible.”

“Why can’t I call you?”

“Kohei-san doesn’t allow phone call in his studio.”

“Okay,” Daesung bobbed his head. “That’s the same for me, I will reply you as soon as possible. And for your information, we can’t meet by the end of the day.”

“Why?”

“I have sessions until late night. You will get exhausted at night and I bet you just want to rest.”

“Ah…”

“And please don’t smoke. You don’t want to hurt my throat.”

Seunghyun bit his lower lips. The throat. Seunghyun almost forgot that and he didn’t drink medicine in the morning because he was too distracted to do that. “Yeah. I will do it.”

“I will, ehm, go wash myself in guest bathroom and you can wash in your bathroom.”

The idea somehow stabbed Seunghyun’s heart, but he just ignored the internal bleeding he had. It was hard to put their problems back when it was supposed to be solved first.

“Yeah,” was the only thing Seunghyun could muster before Daesung left him.

***

 

 

 

Seunghyun was reading the ‘not-to-do list’ sent by Daesung just a minute before. As for Seunghyun, he had sent some kind of tips instead of ‘to-do list’ for the younger man. He said that Daesung could focus to the texture and colors he found at the furniture or paintings and added some of his feelings about it if he was asked. Daesung just sent two letters –O and K- to which Seunghyun’s heart was clenching at the response.

It was quite a long list for Seunghyun, not to mention Jaewoo was telling him Daesung’s schedules for the day on their way to the headquarter, flooding Seunghyun’s head with new information. He would rather to read his schedules and his manager usually did that to him.

At the end of the list, he read ‘don’t flirt’ followed by some angry stickers and Seunghyun was giggling. He hesitated to reply the cute warning because of their problem. Finally he just wrote ‘yes’ as the reply.

 

 

Arriving at the Headquarter, he saw Teddy and immediately smiling ear to ear, almost ripping his cheeks. He shook his hands hip hop style, bumping their chest together, and he looked at Seunghyun, bewildered.

“Woah, it not like you, Daesung-ah? Greeting me like this. Are you that happy to have tight schedule today?” Teddy asked him and Seunghyun just realized he was in Daesung’s body instead of himself.

“Well, I have to be fully recharge for today, right?” Seunghyun scratched his not-so-itchy head afraid the lie would surface.

“Yeah,” Teddy observed him from head to toe and back to look at his eyes, making Seunghyun worried. “Your way of speaking, the tone and all, is way too similar to Seunghyun’s today.”

“Euhm? Really?” Seunghyun used his cute voice to avoid the suspicion. He pouted his lips and Teddy laughed out loud.

“Now it’s more like Daesung,” the older man said, chuckling at the sound Seunghyun made.

Seunghyun was taken aback and hissed inwardly at the fact that his lover acted cute in front of the producer. Jiyong should have known this and he didn’t tell me. He suppressed his anger and jealousy and tried to smile.

“Then, what should I do?” he asked.

He saw Teddy’s small eyes looked at him in confusion. Seunghyun shrugged and then looked at Daesung’s manager who was standing near the door, shaking his head.

“A-aaahhh… I shouldn’t be here?” he finally got the meaning.

“Well, Jaewoo said that he wanted to push your recording session later after you finished your vocal training? Because we switched the schedule with Black Pink’s,” Teddy said and pointed to the three girls sitting on the couch –Lisa, Jenny and Rose- and the other one in recording room, Jisoo. The girls bowed to him and he just nodded.

“Okay then I’ll be back, Hyung,” Seunghyun smiled and turned his heels.

He went to the third floor which was Daesung, Seungri and Taeyang’s playground as the vocalist, and then he stopped walking for a moment to glare at Jaewoo. The manager’s face showing a confusion. Raising his head, he looked at Seunghyun.

“Why?”

“I almost embarrassing myself at the recording room. Why don’t you tell me you pushed the schedule?”

“I said that when we were in the car, Hyung!”

“But you said that the recording would be my first schedule?”

“Originally,” Jaewoo emphasized the word, “Then I said ‘I changed it so you do your vocal training first.”

“Arghh! This is why I prefer my schedule printed or written or whatever it is so I could read by myself and remember it!” Seunghyun ruffled his own hair in frustration and continued to walk, “And how do I do this vocal training session? Dammit! Jiyong and I always train ourselves so we aren’t influenced by other’s style!”

“You tell me, Hyung. I’ve never been a trainee before and I don’t know what to do. But Daesung did mention about his training today. It is something about head voice? And you will also do the vocal training with Lydia,” Jaewoo read his agenda, following Seunghyun from behind.

“Lydia? The one Daesung mentioned he gave her those expensive skincare products?”

“Yeap. Well, she also—”

“Covers Youngbae’s Eyes, Nose, Lips,”

“And—”

“Was in Jiyong’s One of A Kind music video,” Seunghyun glared again. “I know enough information about her, Jaewoo-ya.”

“Okay then,” Jaewoo opened the training room for Seunghyun. “Welcome to The Heaven, where you can hear angels’ voices and where angels train to soothe your heart, Hyung.” He spread his arms and closed his eyes as if he was in bliss.

Seunghyun observed the room and suddenly had a chill all over his body, thinking about how he had to do at vocal training session. He could sing, obviously. Heck, their President required all the members to have that one basic skill. But to have formal lesson? Seunghyun gulped the lump in his throat and shook his head, somewhat in disbelief about what happened to him.

“It’s not heaven for me. It’s hell.”

***

 

 

 

Seunghyun grunted as he woke up with the sound of rooster. His throat was dry and aching; those things reminded him that he had to take care his host body well. Slightly dragging his steps, he headed to the kitchen and made warm herbal tea. With half lidded eyes, he grabbed all the things he needed and boiled the water. When the scent of the herbal tea reached his nose, he winced. The tea must be bitter as fuck and Daesung had to drink it regularly.

After making it, he brought the tea to the living room and tried to prolong his morning by resting body on the couch. Seunghyun recalled what Jaewoo had said the night before: he had morning exercise and then yoga, then recording session again, then he was asked to be vocal training assistant for the trainees, then he got a break. After the break, it was Seunghyun slash Daesung vocal training session until 7 p.m. Then Daesung, supposedly, met the What’s Up casts and having barbeque with them.

Sipping his tea, he recalled the things he had to do at the same day. If he wasn’t mistaken, Daesung and him was supposed to have dinner together, but then Seunghyun remembered that some people from Sotheby’s wanted to meet him and Seunghyun had to push back his plan with Daesung. The disappointment was clear on Daesung’s face –he pouted his lips and eyebrows almost knitted together. Moreover, it was hard for them to have a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant Daesung really wanted to try. Well, it was Seunghyun who got the reservation, but the same person also cancelled the plan.

He felt guilty, of course, and had promised the younger to get another reservation. But with a smile on his face, a bitter one, Daesung suggested that he wanted a very luxury set of Hanwoo and they would have barbeque at a barbeque restaurant. ‘Or we can escape and go to Kobe for Wagyu beef,’ the younger said.

But that promise was never fulfilled. Seunghyun doubt he could make time in his busy schedule. Interview, reviewing, photoshoots, visiting one place to another, meeting one person and more –it was overwhelming, actually, but he found it fun.

Seunghyun sighed as he heard a bell from the door. He knew that it was Daesung’s manager and he didn’t bother to open the door. He brought quite a lot plastic bags with him and Seunghyun set his eyes on it.

“G’Morning, Hyung!” He bowed to Seunghyun, “It’s breakfast!” he said cheerily and took out the plastic bento boxes for Seunghyun. He set it on the table and Seunghyun found out that there was a cold pressed juice amongst it.

The older man drooled over the amount, but when he opened all the boxes, almost all of it was vegetables: vegetable kimbap, Caesar salad, corn soup, some kind of grilled tofu burger and everything else.

“Are you kidding me? Am I some kind of cow or what?” Seunghyun hissed. “Where is the meat?”

“Huh? Meat? You won’t have meat until the end of the week, Hyung.”

“How come?”

“That’s what was written on the weekly menu.”

“But Daesung—” Seunghyun cleared his throat, “I mean, I would have gone to barbeque restaurant today if I didn’t ask you to cancel it?”

“True. Daesung usually just order vegetables and his friends understand that.”

“What’s the fun in it?”

“Well, the meeting with friends?” Jaewoo shrugged. “It’s been one month since he started his diet and you didn’t realize it? He told me that he always gave the meat for you and he would just eat the vegetables.”

“Ah… Yeah…” When Seunghyun thought about it, the younger just said that he was more than happy to give Seunghyun his portion. “Fuck…”

“Well, if you need dairy product, there is an additional slice of cheese for your salad,” Jaewoo pointed at the lonely piece of cheese wrapped in plastic. “Finish this within twenty minutes, Hyung. You need to burn that calories! Chop, chop!” the manager said.

And Seunghyun just wanted to chop Jaewoo.

***

 

 

 

It was his rest time and Seunghyun really didn’t know where to escape. He met his Bom Noona at cafeteria and that woman’s eyes observed Seunghyun, saying that there must be something different from him but she herself didn’t know what the difference was. While he was eating, Bom’s eyes almost breaching Seunghyun’s defense and made Seunghyun ready to spill all the secrets, but he kept his mouth shut.

He bid his farewell to Bom quickly and ran away. The squinted eyes of Bom still tailed the runaway suspect until Seunghyun disappeared into the lift and went to the rooftop.

 

When he reached rooftop, he patted his trousers and he could feel the bump –he brought cigarette with him. He didn’t have withdrawal symptom, which was weird, and thought maybe it was because he was in Daesung’s body. He was about to call the younger when Daesung’s phone vibrated. His mother called and for a moment Seunghyun just stared at the screen vacantly, didn’t know what to do with the phone.

The vibration stopped and when he saw ‘missed call’ notification, his heart sunk. Daesung’s mother must have missed his son so much but Seunghyun selfishly not answering the call, just because he didn’t know what to say. He thought about the pain in her heart if Seunghyun didn’t answer the call. When his phone vibrated for the second time, he didn’t wait for another second to pass.

 

 

It was always a pleasant time to speak with Daesung’s mother, actually. She always had something to talk and Seunghyun would gladly listening to her. When she asked what Daesung had been doing lately, Seunghyun recited Daesung’s schedules and his feelings, whom he met and so on.

 

“Are you two fighting?”

“Huh?” Seunghyun raised his eyebrows at the sudden question. “Fighting with…?”

“Seunghyun-ie,” her mother replied. “You always do that when you are fighting with Seunghyun-ie.”

“Do what, Eomeo-” he almost called her with wrong word, “Eomma?”

“You avoid to talk about him,” Seunghyun heard giggles from the other line. “It’s usually you who blabber about him –Seunghyun Hyung did that, Seunghyun Hyung did this- even when I ask you about your day. It’s always been like, Seunghyun and Daesung’s day rather than Daesung’s day that came out from your mouth.”

“Really? Daesung did that?”

“Huh?”

Seunghyun covered his mouth upon realizing his mistake, “I mean, I really do that?”

“Yeah, my handsome son. This time you only talked about you and for me, it’s strange,” Seunghyun heard laughter, “You better make up with him, okay?”

A smile appeared on his face and he nodded, even though the woman couldn’t see him, “I understand that.”

“Okay then. Do whatever your heart says.”

Seunghyun paused for a while, thinking about something that had been bugged his mind, “Eomma.”

“Yes, my son?”

“Is Seunghyun Hyung good?”

“Do I have to repeat it again?” His mother chuckled.

“I-I think I need reassurance,” Seunghyun stuttered, slightly blushing at his own question. Daesung told him the answer, but he really wanted to hear that straight from Daesung’s mother.

“Of course, Sweetheart. I mean, you chose him. Even if everyone around you is against you, you are too stubborn. He’s a kind person and you need him to melt your timidity. I feel you changed, in a good term. Like, you’re less tensed than before. I could see that burning fire in your eyes when you see him, but at the same time, it’s warming.”

Some drops of tears running down his cheeks after he heard the words. He bit his lips just to restrain himself bawling his eyes out.

“Thank you, Eomma,” Seunghyun finally said.

“Just go and continue whatever you do, Son. Send my regards to Seunghyun, okay?”

After saying ‘yes’ and ‘I love you’ to Daesung’s mother, he ended the call. Somehow, he missed his mother and wanted to call her. However, he shook off the idea.

But another idea came up from his mind.

He unlocked Daesung’s phone and pressed some numbers he knew by heart, his mother’s contact. The contact suggestion was written as “My Lovely Eomonim” with two hearts at the end of Hangeul. He scrolled more and found all BIGBANG members had three hearts each and they were on Daesung’s favorite contacts. Seunghyun smiled. He didn’t bother to look at what Daesung wrote for him –it’s six hearts for Seunghyun, three at the beginning of his pet name and three at the end.

❤❤❤ Hyun ❤❤❤

 

And then you call me childish.

***

 

 

 

By the end of third day, Seunghyun stomped as he made his way to his own apartment to meet Daesung. He was frustrated, like really frustrated because living in Daesung’s body wasn’t as easy as he had imagined. Just few hours before, the younger came to the headquarters to see him, but Seunghyun was messed up. He was scolded by everyone and Daesung just. It’s not the scolding that made his heart ache, it was Daesung’s reputation that was on the edge because of him.

But he couldn’t do nothing because, he’s not Daesung!

They also pricked their thumbs once again and sucked the blood that came out from it, but it was for nothing. They went to the shower room and drowned their heads into the bathtub, but they failed for the nth time.

 

 

He put the PIN in a hurry and went straight to look for Daesung. The frustration blinded him and when he found Daesung was lying on the sofa, he just threw himself and kissed the younger hard even though the younger tried to push him away. After a slap landed on his face, Seunghyun stopped kissing him.

“Why… what…” Daesung looked at him in confusion, mind couldn’t fathom what was happening and his lips red and swollen because of the hard kisses from Seunghyun.

“Sex is the last method, right? Let’s just, do it!”

“But—”

“Oh, please, Daesung. Do you believe that sex can make us return to our original body?”

“Honestly, I don’t.”

“Yeah, I don’t believe it, too. But at least we have to try it,” Seunghyun angrily took off his shirt and unbuckle his belt. The man under just looked at him in disbelief. He didn’t want to do the last method because it was supposed to be a fun and loving thing. Well, they had make-up sex before but…

This, this has no feeling at all, the younger thought.

That was the first time they had sex with an anger. Could it count as make-up sex?

 

 

The day after, when the sun is rising and its ray goes through the gap between the curtain, Seunghyun blinked his eyes for some times, heart racing to get to know whether the sex could help them lived back to normal. He wriggled under the blanket, eyes still shut tightly, and he heard a low grunt that he usually heard when Daesung felt disturbed in the morning –but the grunt came out in a very low tone.

 

They were still on each other’s body.

***

 

 

 

After realizing that they failed almost all the methods to swap their body back, Seunghyun and Daesung decided that it was the best for them to stay together; they could fill the missing parts of their job while they searched for the way to get back to their original body. Moreover, it’s time for them to talk about their problem first.

Seunghyun was mentally exhausted. He couldn’t get another excuse about his condition again. The trainer and Teddy had been pestering him on how on earth Daesung wasn’t able to sing properly. He was forced to produce notes Seunghyun couldn’t hit and it was frustrating for everyone who heard. Not to mention Seunghyun couldn’t smoke or drink wine. The tension pooled and he really needed Daesung’s advice on how to survive another day.

On the other hand Seunghyun almost didn’t get any complain from Daesung or bad report from his own manager. Whenever he texted his manager, he always said Daesung could handle most of the conversation. ‘Daesung can speak Japanese, anyway. He managed to dodge any art-related conversation and instead asking a lot of question on how the artists get their inspiration. Nice move,’ his manager said.

Seunghyun sighed, but apparently feeling grateful to Daesung. The only problem left about his works was to choose the arts and Daesung said it would be nice if Seunghyun himself chose it. Seunghyun agreed and he rushed to his own apartment after finishing his schedule.

 

 

After inputting the code to enter his apartment, he opened the door. Seunghyun found Daesung was busy, catalogue on his left hand and he was holding phone with his right hand. The big pillow supported his back and his legs on the couch. The sight of Daesung working hard made him wanted to hug the younger, but lately, the younger was avoiding the touch from him.

“Hey,” Seunghyun greeted him.

“Hey,” Daesung looked at him for a moment, but his eyes quickly went back to the catalogue and phone screen.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m learning,” Daesung said. He fixed his position and then sat on the couch. His hand reached for the mineral water he prepared before, but it a lot of more on Seunghyun’s side. Seunghyun took it for Daesung and he mumbled a thank you for the older man. The rapper took a seat beside him and looked at the table that was full of books and catalogues. He read one of it: KOHEI NAWA: SANDWICH CREATIVE PLATFORM FOR CONTEMPORARY ART.

Seunghyun chuckled while taking the book, “Did you read this?”

“Some of that. Most of all the time, I just looked at the pictures there,” Daesung shrugged. The small eyes wavered when he looked at Seunghyun, “Hyung, I can’t drag the time anymore, apparently. They keep pestering me about this and that while I don’t have any idea about art, paintings and any other. I was really grateful of my past self who opened one of your book not on purpose then read something that was written on it.”

“Why? They asked you something?”

“Yeah! Do you know the feeling ‘Woah! I read this before!’ when you had pop quiz in school? That was my feeling.”

A proud smile was drawn on Seunghyun’s face.

“I still have more to learn,” a sigh escaped his mouth. “Fortunately I have free time tomorrow.”

“Me too,” Seunghyun saw the younger looking vacantly at the table and suddenly, he realized that maybe the younger wanted to be left alone, “D-do you want me to leave you? So you can learn comfortably…”

There was a slight hesitation on Daesung’s face when he looked at Seunghyun, but at the end the younger said, “No. Stay, Hyung. I had enough of the things I don’t understand.”

“I can help you.”

“No—” Daesung shook his head. “I want to discuss something other than that—” he pointed at the piles of books, catalogues and papers. “I feel like I want to cry, but at the same time I want to laugh.”

“Why laugh?” Seunghyun leaned forward to hear whatever came from Daesung’s mouth.

“You know, today I met Murakami-san, after spending two days with Kohei-san. I really forgot that you don’t use Japanese a lot and I was casually talking to him, asking him what he was doing and all, because I realized that there was no translator accompanied me. It was all good until the woman I just met, asked me that how come I could master Japanese in just a few days. Then I realized that you have two different translators for Kohei-san and Murakami-san. It came to my mind that it was the best to pretend that I don’t know Japanese. But it’s hard!” Daesung laughed. “I know all the curses he said when the paints were not mixed to his liking,” Daesung said in a low voice, almost whispering, as they were in crowded place and it was secret between them.

“Really?” Seunghyun could only responded with short question, mind still amazed how Daesung talked with hearts on his eyes. Well it’s his eyes, technically.

“Yeah!” Daesung eyes got bigger and his voice increased one key more than usual, the sign that he was excited. “And for your information, Hyung, your translator didn’t translate all what I said. I bet if I work as your translator, I would do better than her! AND you don’t know how hard it is to work with your manager for the last four days. But I think I could manage that! Somehow he is the same as you. I mean, he protects me and I love how meticulous he is,” the younger’s lips arched up and he placed his hand on Seunghyun’s thigh.

Like he was under a spell, Seunghyun grabbed Daesung’s hands and observed him as he told the older man how he went through his day. Seunghyun couldn’t be more amazed as he found that even Daesung lived in his body, he could sense some Daesung-ish, some Daesung touch on his body. It was strange that he found Daesung’s unique laughter behind the baritone voice of him. Seunghyun was aware that he had strong gaze, but every time Daesung looked at him, the gaze softened but still sucking his soul out from his body.

He found his face was shining and he had no black circles under his eyes anymore. Daesung must have applied something on his face and he felt guilty because he found black circles under his slash Daesung’s face this morning. He also didn’t have time to take care the body and he must’ve gained some weight because of the careless way of eating he had because he was frustrated living in Daesung’s body. Seunghyun promised, after they went back to their original body, he would accompany Daesung to yoga or gym.

 

 

“Hyung? Are you listening to me?” Daesung caressed the back of his hand.

“Oh?” Seunghyun startled, but hand still holding on to Daesung’s tightly. “Yeah. I mean. No. I am sorry. My mind went somewhere else.”

A sigh of disappointment was heard and Seunghyun said something else quickly, “I mean, I was thinking about you, us. I want to say I am sorry, Daesung-ah.” Seunghyun brought the younger closer, lapping their hands together. He looked at Daesung dearly, “The project takes the most of my time and this drained me. But I can assure you that I am happy about that. I am happy since it’s like my dream comes true. That was so selfish of me, thinking that your job is easier than mine…”

The younger stood up, leaving Seunghyun’s hands alone. Seunghyun’s heart squeezed tight at the thought that the younger didn’t want to hear him anymore. But as he stood up, he nudged Seunghyun’s knees, telling Seunghyun to make space for him and the rapper obliged. Daesung settled himself between the legs and rested his body on Seunghyun’s chest. He took the older man’s hands and enveloped his body with it.

“I know your job is hard. It was the silly me appeared that day. I guess I just need to cuddle like this even it’s just for some minutes. You’re my personal charger. I need you to charge my energy,” Daesung lifted up his head to see his lover. Seunghyun melted when their eyes meet and placed a kiss on Daesung’s temple. The younger shut his eyes tightly, to feel the love from the older man. When the vocalist opened his eyes, Seunghyun cupped his cheek and smiled, silently thanking that the angel is his lover.

“How about your days, Hyung?”

“Damn hard to be you, Daesung-ah. Everyone almost said the same thing, ‘you’re like Seunghyun, lately’, ‘you become Seunghyun’, or ‘I think being together for such a long time makes you pick of some each other’s habit, huh?’”

“Who said the last thing?”

“Bom Noona.”

Daesung laughed until his eyes disappeared, “Of course ‘you’re like Seunghyun’. It’s Seunghyun himself in Daesung’s body!”

 

The laughter slowly faded away and leaving them in a silence. Seunghyun laced their fingers together while kissing the younger’s hair. They couldn’t be in this state forever, too many pairs of curious eyes looking at them and staying in each other’s body would make it worse.

“I, don’t know what to do with our condition, Daesung-ah. Should we just go to a shaman?” Seunghyun suggested. “You’re free tomorrow, right?”

“I am,” the younger said.

“Okay.”

“Should we just end the day and go to bed, Hyung? I am sleepy. My muscles also sore after a session with Master Hwang later this evening.”

“You exercised?”

“Of course! I have to keep your body fit for your test!” he exclaimed. “I am really sleepy. Hurry go to bed!”

“Let me change my outfit to a pajama.”

Seunghyun slightly pushed the younger to stand, but the younger didn’t moved at all. Seunghyun raised his eyebrows and pushed the younger again, “You said that you are sleepy? Then I will just cha—”

Daesung caught Seunghyun’s lips with his and winked. His hands sneaked to unbutton the shirt Seunghyun was wearing, “Kang Daesung never wears anything to bed.”

***

 

 

Daesung lied.

He wasn’t sleepy. If it was true, that he was sleepy, Seunghyun didn’t know what made Daesung changed his heart. Seunghyun was totally abused by the younger and when Seunghyun was fucked hardly (he bottomed, because Daesung in his body just, too dominating) he knew that he would be sore. It was hard and fast for two first round and really slow at the third one. But he felt amazing. If he was on his own body, Seunghyun was sure that he couldn’t last long when ride Daesung, his thighs couldn’t stand that.

‘We bring the ‘fuck yourself’ to a whole new level, Hyung,’ the younger said to him when they were cuddling after the long night. But for Seunghyun himself, he saw beyond his own body; he saw Daesung. He saw the usual twinkle when Daesung looked at him. When Daesung touched him, it was the same pressure the younger usually used to his skin.

It was always Daesung.

 

 

He looked at the younger that was sleeping on his stomach. Seunghyun put the brunette locks that covered his face behind his ear and kissed the exposed skin, down to his shoulder, peppering kisses on his last destination. His body ached as if he exercised a lot.

 

Wait.

Brunette locks?

Exercise?

 

Seunghyun stood up abruptly to see himself on the mirror and found his own white locks. He was shouting out loud and a pillow was flying to his direction, hitting his butt.

“AISHHH HYUUUUNGGG! SHUT UPPPP!”

“Daesung! We’re baackkkk!!” Seunghyun shook the younger’s body and Daesung growled.

“Hyung. Awww!” Daesung grabbed his own butt and Seunghyun got the meaning.

He squatted and leveled his eyes to meet Daesung’s. The younger smiled faintly to him, “Welcome back, I guess?”

Seunghyun caught Daesung’s lips with his and nibbling it for a while. His heart was filled by happiness and he wanted to share it with Daesung.

The younger pushed him slightly and then pulled him to the bed again. When Seunghyun was tucked under the blanket, the younger positioned himself between Seunghyun’s chest and arm, legs locking with the older man’s.

“Finally, my own body!” Seunghyun hugged the younger tight. “And your body!”

“Yeah, Hyung. Just. Sleep. Again. Fuck me for fucking my own body hard.”

Seunghyun giggled and flicked Daesung’s temple. The younger whined but Seunghyun quickly kissed the faint red. The experience had him to understand that he should watch his mouth and realized that Daesung’s job was as hard as his.

“I’m sorry. I love you. I won’t say that it’s easier to be you.”

“I won’t babble about your job either, Hyung. My brain can’t digest those things,” the younger just gave him a faint smile, but it was so bright that it brought happiness to Seunghyun. “Please, back to the bed?”

“Yeah, let’s sleep. You don’t know how happy I am.”

“You don’t know how thankful I am.”

 

-THE END-

**Author's Note:**

> cross posted from AFF


End file.
